The Plan

In my first post, if you care, it seems I promised a more biographical element to my Blog. I've been avoiding that, perhaps. But now it's down to it - I've run out of work, and reading mystery novels doesn't seem to produce a paycheck. So, on Monday, I'm gonna put on my good shoes and thrust myself into society. The plan is twofold.

One: call grad schools. Beg them to take me. I have a full-on degree, I should be able to get into a fucking graduate program. Arsenii tells me in Belarus they call your college degree your "life boat." Well, I've been saying I don't have one on job applications - it seems to be more like cement boots. But my understanding is that advanced programs actually want you to have a Bachelor's before applying. So, can't lose?

Two: job. Shit job. Anything. Except I don't have any references, I have a terrible work history, and I refuse to fill out an application or write a resume. I don't hold out a lot of hope for this phase of the plan.

Contingency: savings. I have these. I am going to spend them on booze until they run out then I'm going to jump off of something very tall.

I'm happy to take bets on the Plan or its separate components.

Detective novels

He was supposed to be enjoying his vacation, but apparently retired private investigator Dick Jonathan's reputation preceded him...And so did notorious armed goon Roonie Mulane!

The cashier at Best Buy had asked hardnosed crimesolver Norton Tendicks if he wanted to buy a warranty. But he didn't want insurance...he wanted answers!

Hired thugs and a kilogram of bad cocaine were all private eye Tim Dickman needed to find waiting in his office on the day his last paycheck bounced!

Ace Ventura, pet detective...!

Private investigator Ginnie Dicks wouldn't really have described herself as oversexed...Until she saw herself in a snuff film and had to fuck her way to the truth!

Evicted, shot in the face, freshly divorced...But why did notary public Alvaro Penis get the feeling something wasn't quite right?

When hard-drinking public defender Schlong Fergusson lost his most recent death case, he thought the mystery was solved...But one thing still bothered him: who drank all his booze?