Second Glance

You know what I like about Washington Post Magazine's "Second Glance" puzzles? They allow a major newspaper to openly brag about how much they could seriously doctor their images if they felt like it.

The Plan

In my first post, if you care, it seems I promised a more biographical element to my Blog. I've been avoiding that, perhaps. But now it's down to it - I've run out of work, and reading mystery novels doesn't seem to produce a paycheck. So, on Monday, I'm gonna put on my good shoes and thrust myself into society. The plan is twofold.

One: call grad schools. Beg them to take me. I have a full-on degree, I should be able to get into a fucking graduate program. Arsenii tells me in Belarus they call your college degree your "life boat." Well, I've been saying I don't have one on job applications - it seems to be more like cement boots. But my understanding is that advanced programs actually want you to have a Bachelor's before applying. So, can't lose?

Two: job. Shit job. Anything. Except I don't have any references, I have a terrible work history, and I refuse to fill out an application or write a resume. I don't hold out a lot of hope for this phase of the plan.

Contingency: savings. I have these. I am going to spend them on booze until they run out then I'm going to jump off of something very tall.

I'm happy to take bets on the Plan or its separate components.

Homonyms!

Alright, the last round saw a tie between "Annie" and "Sterling," two of my blondest friends. You'll recall the clues:

Altercation between rodents?
Problem with teaching stupid kids?
Treat's ability?
Door to a squirrel's abode?
Spooky bird's nest?

Their answers (Annie/Sterling):

rat spat / mice mess
idiots shitiots / fool foul
nice rice / dessert desert
nest / port hole's portals
scary aerie / an armpit!!!!!

The right answers:

Squirrels' quarrel
(or Mouse grouse)
Students too dense
Snack's knack
Entry in tree
Eerie aerie

Thanks for playing!

The homonym game

Most of you know this game. You get a clue and the answer is a set of homonyms. Here are some bad examples:

The entire emptiness? Whole hole.
The only being? Sole soul.

The relationship between the clue and the answer is sometimes like the one you roll your eyes at when you're doing a crossword puzzle. So the answer isn't always exactly synonymous with the clue. I also like answers that aren't strict homonyms, or they're a stretch, literally. More bad examples:

Arborial snack? Tree treat.
Soda for a tree? Oak Coke.

Onto the game!

Altercation between rodents?
Problem with teaching stupid kids?
Treat's ability?
Door to a squirrel's abode?
Spooky bird's nest?